Fire, Family and KP
We were having cocktails and conversation with some friends on a clear summer evening. The fire pit was crackling and the kids were chasing unsuspecting fireflies throughout the yard. KP’s and my conversation flipped from work to husbands to in-laws to children to schools to politics and back to work. I love conversations with KP. Its like having ten conversations at once about entirely unrelated things but ultimately it comes full circle to Skinny Girl Margaritas (why she likes them and I do not) and our families. KP and her husband Tony are parents to one son. They would love to have more children, but had some fertility challenges with the first one and those challenges were multiplying as they attempted to have another child. KP was frustrated with unsuccessful IVF attempts. She and her husband did not think that international adoption was for them. But they had so much love to give and wanted another child to complete their family.
“You may think this sounds crazy, but I know my daughter is out there. I could pick her out of a crowd. She has ringlet curls and beautiful ebony skin. She doesn’t look like me, and I may not have given birth to her but she is my daughter. I am going to find her, I can feel it in my bones .”
Perhaps it was the margaritas, or the fire, or a full summer moon, but I did not think it sounded crazy. I remember Rosie O’Donnell once explaining adoption. She said it is when a child is born to someone and God says, “what the heck? that’s not right,” so God goes about the process of finding the forever family for that child. And it is made right. (OKay, I know, total pie in the sky and it is way more complicated but that is how Rosie explained it to a kid.) I do believe that when you decide that your family should be more than you and your partner that things usually happen the way they should. I did not think that I would ever be the mother of three. Yet, here I am. We decided that we wanted to have children and were lucky enough that they all came. Although it was not always smooth sailing, (see Jaybird’s Birthday), I would not change a thing. Our family is complete with the five of us. KP, her husband and son were not a complete family. Not yet.
All set to be foster parents, their house ready, KP and family are ready to take in a child or children that need a home. Well, KP and her husband were ready. Their son, then six years old, was with them in spirit, but had no clue as to what he had agreed to. His world was about to change forever. A call came that there was a little girl, about 15 months old, that needed a loving home. KP and company jumped at the opportunity. This beautiful, vivacious little girl showed up at the their door. Within one day she was calling KP “Momma” and was a dream. Again, the 6 YO boy was not so sure; eventually this little girl won his heart. She was healthy, strong in spirit and good-natured. Within three days her “foster-brother” was reading her bedtime stories and singing to her. KP and family made their intentions known over the next few months. They would like to adopt this little girl with the flawless ebony skin and ringlet curls.
The Next Fall
I saw the countdown on Facebook. It is official. KP is expecting! It is 10 days, then 9, and so on until the adoption is official. KP and her family have welcomed a new girl into their home forever. The pictures of the day exemplify love, family, commitment. So many family and friends came to celebrate this family going from three to four (officially) that I felt love just oozing out of my screen. KP’s family is living proof that when it comes to family, there is no black or white, just love, respect and kindness. Their family is an inspiration.
When we choose to commit our lives to another person we start a spiral of decisions. Sometimes we decide that we would like to welcome children into the mix. Sometimes we give birth to those children and sometimes not. It does not matter. What matters is that we love each other, respect each other and pray for each other. This is family.
Congratulations, KP and family on your new addition!