The American Calgarian

Tales of a Midwesterner transplanted in Western Canada

Crunchy Eggs

About a week ago, Apprentice came running out of school at the end of the day.  “MOM! I HAVE A LOOSE TOOTH!”  The ride home, dinner and discussion before bed were a dissertation of his loose tooth and how his life has been effected by said loose tooth.  Lunch had to be chewed on one side of his mouth, juice drunk through the straw on the opposite side that he usually does, you get the idea.  To be fair, it was his first loose tooth.  His brother and sister prepped him on the Tooth Fairy, which is funny because my daughter has told me she does not buy into the whole thing (“Mom, fairies and other fantasy-like creatures are not real”) and Mid told Emma, our friends daughter, that tooth fairies and the Easter Bunny don’t exist.  (Apparently the talk we had with him after leaving Emma’s house got through to him.  And Jim & Leslie, still sorry about that.)

Apprentice has been babying this loose tooth for about a week.  To be honest, I had forgotten about it.  Then this morning, while eating his usual cereal, bacon, toast and scrambled eggs, Apprentice said, “Mom, there is something crunchy in my eggs.”  At first, I assumed that he was suggesting there were shells in the eggs, (must be PMS).  I gave him a paper towel and told him to spit out what was in his mouth, intending to prove that there were, in fact, no shells in the eggs.  He spit out the eggs and they were a little bloody.  And crunchy.  So I had him rinse his mouth out with water.  Sure enough, his loose tooth appeared to be pulverized.  Or gone.

He started to panic.  “Did I eat my tooth?”, wide-eyed and breathing wildly, he looked to me for some answers.  What could I say?  He had most likely chewed his tooth (I know, gross, right?) and ate it. Or spit it out on the paper towel.  Whatever.  Yuck.  What to say to calm him?  I summoned a calm voice.

“Yes, you probably did, but don’t worry, the tooth fairy will still come.  You just need to write her a note explaining where you think the tooth went.”

“Like how it went into my tummy?”

“Yes, like in your tummy.”  Thankfully, the Girl piped in and explained how this happened to her once, (how could I have forgotten this?), when she lost a tooth on the school playground.  She wrote a note, put it under her pillow and VIOLA! the tooth fairy still left money.  Though, the tooth fairy left less money than usual, most likely because she could not produce the lost tooth.  Or, the tooth fairy did not have the appropriate amount of money and was not about to inflate the reward for teeth, so left whatever spare change she had, hypothetically speaking.  But, I digress.  Appeased, Apprentice went on about his business and got ready for school.

That evening, he wrote a note to the Tooth Fairy, explaining the events of the morning.  Thankfully, she left him the usual sum under the pillow.


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4 thoughts on “Crunchy Eggs

  1. That is the cutest tooth fairy letter I’ve ever seen! I can sense your son’s seriousness, mixed in with his sweet handwriting.

    • Thanks! He is really serious but every now and again says the funniest darn thing.. I posted another story about him in “Mario, Can I Come Over?”, (shameful self promotion), which shows how sweet and innocent Apprentice can be. Then again, aren’t pretty much all kids sweet and innocent?

  2. Have not reached the loose tooth phase yet, the crunchy, bloody eggs make me cringe. The note however, is adorable!

  3. Have not reached it yet? Oh the joy of watching your kids wiggle their teeth.. it really does make me cringe. I am so glad when the teeth just kind of come out.. Thanks for reading and commenting!

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